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page 220 "I had convinced myself that he was the one, that he would help to make me normal, fix things that were wrong with my life. Someone to help me deal with Mommy, block out her voice when she whispered in my ear, telling me I was bad, I was wrong, I wasn't good enough. Why has I thought that?" Eleanor when she realizes that the musician was just a juvenile crush and a romance with him would never happen.