One Million Years B.C

One Million Years B.C

DVD - 2003
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Cave men battle a host of prehistoric creatures in this original dinosaur movie.
Publisher: Beverly Hills, Calif. : Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment, [2003]
Branch Call Number: DVD ADULT
Characteristics: 1 videodisc (91 min.) : sound, color ; 4 3/4 in

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a
akirakato
Mar 10, 2014

This is 1967 92-minute science-fiction drama about the life of prehistoric man, who is banished from his tribe "Rock People" yet soon finds
himself living among the kind,
gentle "Shell People." There, he falls in love with one of the tribeswomen, played by bikini-clad Raquel Welch.
The two decide to strike out on their own, living by their wits in a deadly land of unknown dangers and treacherous giant creatures such as
dinosaur.
It is a remake of the Hollywood film One Million B.C. (1940).
Like the original film, this remake is largely ahistorical.
It portrays dinosaurs and humans living together, whereas, according to the geologic time scale, the last dinosaurs became extinct
roughly 65 million years BC, and Homo sapiens (modern humans) did not exist until about 200,000 years BC.
In any case, the animated sequences of the dinosaur attacks are superb.
Therefore, it is worthwhile to watch this movie.

f
Fuzzy_Wuzzy
Feb 10, 2014

*WARNING!!* - Never, ever judge a DVD by its enticing, bikini-clad, surfer-girl, cheesecake cover.

Believe me, this prehistorically preposterous "Romeo & Juliet" story from 1966 set the art of romance back by about a billion years (B.C.).

This film is a prime example of some of the most primitive-minded, stone-aged trash that actually makes the likes of The Flintstones cartoon seem about 10x more entertaining (and authentic) by mere comparison.

From wrangling with supremely pissed-off warthogs to claw'n'nail catfights amongst hot cavegirls in high-fashion fur bikinis (ooh-la-la!), One Million Years B.C. can only be fully appreciated if one chooses to view it as a demented, dim-witted, slapstick comedy, presented in the comic style of a Monty Python's farce.

Anyway - The truth of the matter is - This neolithic nonsense was a total embarrassment on all counts. And that also includes its lame dinosaur effects, as well as its climatic "erupting volcano" scene which was (obviously) hastily thrown into this primitive mishmash for good measure.

m
Monolith
Oct 06, 2012

This cult classic is actually pretty bad; so bad that it's good. Miserable brunette Rock People and happy blonde Shell People. Virtually dialogue-free save Loana yelling "Tumak!" and vice versa. Ray Harryhausen was really remarkable for his time. Needless to say, the CGI spoiled kids of today would unquestionably disagree. 26 year old Welch was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Ugly cavewomen, take note. Pluck your uni-brows, get some implants, (dental, or whatever else you infer), and a furry bikini, and Fred and Barney will be the happiest neanderthals of the Stone Age.

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m
Monolith
Oct 06, 2012

Loana: "TUMAK!!!"

m
Monolith
Oct 06, 2012

Tumak: "LOANA!!!"

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